Deep in my soul, I don't thirst for power, prestige, possessions, or pleasure. Instead I thirst for the fulfillment I was designed to experience. Like a flower reaching up into the sunlight, I yearn to embrace the unreachable source of my nourishment and my very life.
However, that source is only unreachable when I insist on reaching it on my own. When my relationship with God can only grow on my own terms it can never grow at all. The truth is that the mere fact of my existence is sheer grace. I had nothing whatsoever to do with my own creation. I didn't deserve it. I didn't earn it. I had no claim on life at all, and yet here I am.
The Great Mystery who breathes life into me at each present moment calls me to eternal glory in his arms, but the road I must choose to follow for that thirst to be authentically quenched is a long and dangerous one, full of pitfalls and potential setbacks. The wonderful truth is that every single obstacle I will ever encounter was known to God before all ages. I need never fear, "for You are with me" (Psalm 23). I need to trust him, to trust his will, his plan, his timeline.
Oftentimes, I don't even need external obstacles - I am my own worst enemy. As Saint John of the Cross observed, "in becoming aware of their own imperfections, some people grow angry with themselves in an unhumble impatience. So impatient are they about these imperfections that they would want to become saints in a day" (The Dark Night of the Soul, Ch. 5:3). God instead calls me to recognize my weaknesses while striving for a more steady growth in virtue. Virtue grows just like anything else - one day at a time.

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